The Road to Self Awareness

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Self Awareness is the ability to know oneself in such a way as to remove all doubt about who and what they are. What this means in simple terms is that if you know yourself, all the good and bad, all the strengths and weakness', then you are self aware. However, very few things in life are that simple. There is a journey that must happen on the way to becoming Self Aware and that is what we are going to talk about here.

Before we begin we have to lay down some foundations. The first thing we are going to do is help you to separate "True Responsibility" from "The Yoke of Responsibility".

True Responsibility: This is what truly must be done in order to take care of you, and thus be able to grow and evolve. Here are things like eating, resting, etc. In short they are all the Needs that you have in order to live a true wonderful life. These needs to not stop at the basics, they also include the more complex needs, needs like companionship, joy, etc.

The Yoke of Responsibility: The Yoke is basically anything we convince ourselves we must do even though we don't want to. This is working at a job you don't want to because you have to pay the rent for example. This is a flawed idea because there are countless jobs out there, and not all of them are the same. The yoke can also be small things like having to clean your room because Mom said so. This too is a yoke. And the Yoke only drains energy, it can never increase it and it is energy that we need in order to become Self Aware.

There of course is nothing in this world cut and dry like the above explanation, and so we need to explain one step further. True responsibility is basically living your life for you, where the Yoke is living life for other people. Now many people starting on the journey feel that living life for themselves is Selfish, and the reason for that is because we have a flawed idea of that word.

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"Selfishness" is when someone gets mad because you do not include them in whatever you're doing and they feel left out, so it is you who are being Selfish. The reality of course is that they are the Selfish one.

This is important because is puts it puts Selfishness where it belongs. True selfishness is when you do something that hurts others intentionally so that you can have it for yourself. For Example if you take something from a store because they have so much anyway, that is true Selfishness.

To truly live life we must do everything for ourselves. This is not to say that we can not help and do things for others, it simply means that the reason behind doing it must be one that we benefit from. In other words…


In every situation there is a Why, and as long as it is to your benefit they you will be doing it for the right reason. For Example if you help someone move because they made you feel guilty you loose. However if you were bored and it gave you something to do then you win. The reality is that when you do things "for" others it can very easily become something you do "to" others and that makes life harder.

The reality is that we all have a natural reserve of energy, the energy to cope with things. When that energy gets low we can not cope with as many things. How many people know parents who snap at their children for looking at them the wrong way, who freak out because their children spilt milk on the table? I am sure many have seen parents in a mall snap and lash out at their children. The reason for this is simple, their natural energy levels are so low that they simply can not deal with anything. The reason the levels got low was that they were so busy doing everything "for" their kids, and in their mind were getting nothing back.

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How many people have heard the term "And this is how you re-pay me?" The reason for this is that they have set up a scale, on one side they see all they thing they did "for" others, and on the other side all they got back. The problem is that the scale is miss-labeled. When you do things "for" others who have not asked for help or need help, the reality is you did them "to" them and what that means is that you did it "for" you and they really had nothing to do with it. That thus means that you took something away from them, to help yourself. Remember the real definition of Selfish is when you hurt someone to do for yourself. That is what has happened here, someone was so selfish that they Rammed their help down someone else's throat in order to get something else back. That something most likely respect, adoration, or some other emotional response.

So what happens on the scale is that all the things labeled "done for others" actually reads "taken from others" and all the stuff labeled "gotten in return" is truly "given of myself". And as this is all going on the energy to cope lowers and lowers and lowers. This is because they are so busy looking at how little they have gotten in return for all the "wonderful" things they have done, and as a result since they truly did nothing it destroys the energy inside to compensate.

If you do everything for yourself, with the best of intentions, and do the work to the best of your ability, then you will never deplete your own internal energy. When we are honest and true we are open, when we are open energy can flow freely and thus replace all that we have removed. This is not to say that everything will always work out for the best, it simply means that you are doing it for the right reason and thus never sell your soul. And the more open and honest we are, the more energy will flow. And after all that is what this is all about, teaching you how to use energy to improve your own life and to help heal all those around you. This foundation is the single most important one taught. It is from here that everything else expands.

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However you also need to understand that to be able to be open and honest means you have to be open and honest with yourself. That will take time and dedication. It is very easy to say we are good people, caring and honest. However if you curse and swear at other drivers who cut you off, if you lie to avoid getting in trouble, and turn your back on those down on their luck, then you can not actually be a good, caring, honest person. You contradicted all of those and lied to yourself in doing so.

That means you have to go inside, face all your fears and all of your ego driven beliefs. And when that happens you will never be able to call yourself a good, caring, honest, compassionate, etc, person and have it mean anything. Well till you actually become them and do them for real that is. It is important to note that almost all things you see as negative inside of you are not actually negative in and of themselves. They are positive things being used in a negative way.

For example I myself and "Self Righteous" and "Arrogant", if I were to use them in a negative way I would take this information and ram it down your throat, use it to make you live life and conform to a new way of thinking. However I know I am these things, and I use them with pride. What I do is offer you the opportunity to learn, present things in a way that gives you the choice what to do with and help to guide you to the right path for YOU. Yet I am still using my "Self Righteousness" and "Arrogance" to do all of that, except now I have a positive way to do it.

That is the real goal of Self Discovery, then things inside of you will always be there, the trick is to know them, accept them and find positive ways to use them. If we do that everything is put into proper perspective, we will do things for the right reasons and out natural energy to cope will increase and grow stronger. And when that happens life begins to become a wondrous thing and not a burden. However it does take time and effort, and that is the Road to Self Discovery we are now going to talk about.

On the road there are tow basic paths, the path of reality and the path of illusion. As the names state one is real the other fake. However you need to know them both.

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Illusionary Road to Self Discovery:

[--]--[Hell on Earth]--[Barely Tolerable]--[Moderately Tolerable]--[Life is Good]--[--]
Garden of Eden                                                                                         True Heaven on Earth.

  • Garden of Eden: Here "Ignorance is Bliss". What this means is that it is very easy to blame everyone else for everything that happens. People here are "sheep"; they follow but never lead. They do not want responsibility because that means they must be responsible and that is not acceptable. Those here coast through life and just let it happen.
  • Hell of Earth: This is the hardest section to live through for it truly seems like "Hell on Earth". The reason for this is that it is very easy to feel like everything is now your fault. From never taking any responsibility to taking only a small amount seems like way too much, and as such can become overwhelmed by the tiny responsibility that now must accept.
  • Barely Tolerable: This is only slightly better then Hell. Responsibility seems slightly more tolerable, and indeed many become more willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility, at least as long as they don't feel they will get into trouble if they do.
  • Moderately Tolerable: This is where life starts to feel better and responsibility slowly starts to take on a more reasonable role. In other words, responsibility is now in part a good thing, it is no longer a complete burden. Here people will step up to the plate, especially if there is recognition or praise involved. That included even if they get into trouble. "honesty is the best policy" starts to have meaning at this level.
  • Life is Good: This is a great place to be. Those here understand the truth about responsibility and indeed happily take it in stride and do not "pass the buck" Many people here seem to have a good grasp of reality and indeed seem to have a good idea of who and what they are.
  • True Heaven on Earth: This is where people truly excel. They understand themselves a great deal, responsibility is understandable and used in the right way. Those around these people really think they have their act together and should go far in the world.

However remember this is the illusion of the journey. Responsibility is a very important part of being Self Aware, however it is by no means the most important. The downside with this illusion is that it is easy to leave the most important elements of Self Awareness behind. As you can see from the above explanation of responsibility that there is a shift from the Yoke of Responsibility to True Responsibility. However not much else is added to the illusion, and that is because the things missing are very hard to deal with and accept. In other words you will still need to get to know yourself, deal with all the good and bad, and put it into proper perspective.

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True Road to Self Awareness:

[--]--[Somewhat Tolerable]--[Moderately Tolerable]--[Life is Good]--[Life is Wonderful]--[--]
Garden of Eden                                                                                           True Heaven on Earth.

  • Garden of Eden: Here "Ignorance is Bliss", the same as in the Illusion. Excepting that here deep down you know that this is truly "Hell on Earth"
  • Somewhat Tolerable: At this stage life is not Hell, but neither is it wonderful. This is still one of the hardest areas to live through, however that is because you only have a small amount of the tools and knowledge needed to grow and evolve. Here most people begin to deal with the surface baggage, realize they are not as good as they think they are, yet still get caught up in their own BS. Responsibility is still a burden, however there are some benefits to it and thus it is used from time to time.
  • Moderately Tolerable: At this stage realize that are still full of BS, however are willing to move beyond it; at least in the areas that are not too painful. Most people at this stage have developed a good number of tools to deal with life and from time to time jump into life head first. However most at this stage are still not willing to risk everything, it is easy to feel open and exposed and as such they try and protect themselves more then is really needed.
  • Life is Good: Here is where things shift for the better. The tools for living life are well developed. The idea that "others can hurt you" begin to fade, the realization that only what you "let" others do to you can really affect you. Responsibility is an old friend at this point and are willing and able to put things into their proper perspective. The only thing missing here is that still have some very deeply rooted ideas and patterns that once in awhile rear up and get in the way. However this is okay because they are being worked on slowly.
  • Life is Wonderful: At this stage of development "Life is indeed Wonderful" the reason being that have finally grasped the true meaning of life, and that is "Life is what you make of it". You have the resources to deal with almost anything that comes your way, and indeed not much can bring you down. The resources for living are massive and the tools that you possess are well above average.
  • True Heaven on Earth: There is little difference between Wonderful and Heaven, save that in Heaven there is nothing that can affect you, not even the death of loved ones. Life is what is was meant to be and everything is seen for what it truly is. Here life is beyond measure.

You must also know, now that you have this basic outline, that it is completely possible for each separate area of growth and development to be on a different path, and indeed on different areas of the path. That is all a part of becoming Self Aware. You will have to face all your fears, put them into their proper place. Will have to confront all the "bad" things inside of yourself and embrace them, for they will be used no matter what, the difference is if they are used to better yourself and others, or to harm them.

The Road to Self Awareness is not easy, and indeed will be the single hardest thing that will ever have to do in life, however the rewards are so far beyond measure that there are no words in the universe that can truly give justice to how you will feel when truly reach Heaven on Earth. And remember the further you are on the road the better it gets, and indeed the better healer and person you will be. Life is truly what you make of it, so why not make it a wonderful thing?

From The Tao-Te-Chi Intensive Healing Course Manual
Copyright May 2003


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